


Stupid mission

by Marber312



Series: Not an ordinary day - mission [2]
Category: Shadowh, Shadowhunters (TV), The Mortal Instruments Series - Cassandra Clare, The Shadowhunter Chronicles - All Media Types, The Shadowhunter Chronicles - Cassandra Clare
Genre: M/M, fretting, it was a mistake to let him, magnus is on a mission, pillowhugging, worried, worried!alec
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-07-09
Updated: 2017-07-09
Packaged: 2018-11-30 01:36:31
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,074
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/11453274
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Marber312/pseuds/Marber312
Summary: While Alec is injured Magnus takes his place on a mission with Jace. At first Alec isn't very worried but it turnes out that sitting at home waiting isn't as relaxing and easy as Alec first thought it was





	Stupid mission

**Author's Note:**

> Alec POV during Magnus and Jace's mission  
> Taking place in: Not an Ordinary Day.

Alec knew it was the best option they had. He was injured, Jace shouldn’t go alone, and it was a mission they needed to do.

  
When Magnus offered his service, or more announced he was going, he had been pensive. He didn’t really oppose to the idea but he didn’t like it. It was a gnawing sense in the back of his head of discomfort. He ignored it as they started talking. He rationally knew it was the best option. It was the best option they had and would have for quite a while. He knew Magnus could fight for himself, he didn’t doubt his skills… He just didn’t want him to use them. He didn’t want Magnus to go onto a potentially dangerous mission with his parabatai. At first he shrugged it off at being salty for being benched but as his feet dragged him after Magnus towards his room, the ball of nerves in his stomach grew. So maybe he was more opposed to the idea than he wanted to let on. Magnus was a big and strong man; he had nothing to be worried about. They’d be fine. The weird feeling didn’t go away though and he was trying to put his finger on what the feeling was when he caught himself staring as Magnus straightened after putting things on the bed. “Alexander dear, you can stare all you want, really,” Magnus looked over his shoulder and winked at him. He couldn’t stop a scoff trying to cover up how lost in thought and probably how utterly worried he looked. It was just typical Magnus to joke and try his very best at innuendoes when he was about to go on a dangerous mission. He crossed his arms trying to calm the embarrassment. “But I still need to go.” He felt his annoyance slip out in a huffed breath. He knew Magnus had to. He just couldn’t grasp the right words; he couldn’t put what he felt into a sentence Magnus would understand. He knew Magnus needed to go, he knew but he still just didn’t want him to. “I know. It’s just…” He trailed off trying to find the most fitting words of all the ones swirling around in his head. Magnus turned around to face him and there was an air of understanding around him. Like he knew what words he was desperately trying to find. “You just don’t like it?” Magnus gave him such a warm and understanding look he had to look away. He turned his eyes to his shoes which were a plain black with an extra sole in it for support. Magnus had insisted he’d get a pair since he ran so much. He glanced up knowing far well how easily Magnus read him even when he tried not to think about the thing he thought about. He didn’t want to admit that he had already made about three plans to make Magnus cancel the mission. He wasn’t going to use them. He was a grown man very capable of making rational decisions for the greater good. He trusted his boyfriend’s and parabatai’s abilities. He wouldn’t be ridiculous and ask him to stay. What would be the harm for the two to go on a mission anyway? There probably wouldn’t be any at all with the duo they were sending. He’d get a day’s rest in bed as ordered – repeatedly -, and the issue at hand would be dealt with; the perfect solution.

  
“I’ll be back in a wink.” Magnus took the small step towards him and took his hand. A wink playfully shot his way. Alec glanced up from the spot on the carpet he had been intensely staring at without raising his head. He was trying to hide his uncertainty while biting back all the stupid reasons his mind was coming up with for Magnus to stay. He felt the soft hand lace their fingers. “Don’t worry, we’ll be fine.” Magnus kept smiling at him and he couldn’t help but give a small smile back. They’d be fine. “But I need to get ready and I’ll just keep my clothes off if you’re going to stare at me like that.” Alec's smile widen as he lightly shook his head. His cheeks flushed knowing far too well what that referred to. To not prolong the already slowed down process of getting ready he kissed Magnus’ lips lightly before turning to leave. He took determent steps towards the door. He found himself stopping right before walking out as Magnus turned towards the items of clothing on his bed again. He wanted to let Magnus know he cared about him and was worried even if he didn’t doubt his abilities on the field, but he was once more at loss for words not really understanding the emotions coursing through his body so he willed his feet to leave.

  
He joined Jace who was waiting in the hallway, already geared up and ready to go. “Is he ready?” He knew Jace impatiens was only covering up missions nerves. They would be fine but it would be the first time Jace and Magnus fought alone together. Jace and he didn’t really get nervous about missions anymore but going in a new constellation was always… interesting. He gave Jace a serious look and Jace stance shifted to a calmer one. “Take care of him.” He saw Jace smirk at first but it faded into a gentle one as he could see the seriousness in his eyes; his tone grew serious and genuine. “I will. But I don’t think he’ll need it.” Jace nodded his head towards the echoing steps down the hall right as Magnus made his appearance looking kick ass ready.  
He looked hot. Magnus was always attractive but there was something about him dressed and geared up in black that made him look hotter than usual. For the most part Magnus was beautiful, even if that sometimes seemed like a strange thing to call a man, but he truly was. Always, in all lights, in all angles, he was even beautiful when he didn't try and thought he wasn’t. Now he was just smoking and almost ridiculously hot he almost thought the fire alarm would go off for a second. It was as if Magnus had gone for the look of sin personified with the added mystique of Sirens which made a very deadly predator. His real eyes were out and that was the tipping point. He was so hot while still being so unearthly beautiful it almost hurt knowing he held such a mans affections. He wanted to gasp at the sight but held back any sounds his body wanted to emit only because Jace was beside him. He restrained him from loudly babbling the mess of words that was tumbling in his head because of the way Jace already looked at him as he stared at Magnus. He couldn't tell if he was smug or nauseated by the gawking. He knew Jace knew his own undressing-your-SO well enough to see it on others.  
He felt his mouth drop open and close as he tried to come up with anything other to say than: fuck as Magnus came closer. He, not for the first time, damned his injury. But at least something good came out of the stupid missi– the mission: came out of the mission. It wasn’t stupid.  
He was once again at a loss for words but this time for an entirely different reason. His mind kept racing to all the other things they could be doing instead of Magnus going on a mission, but none were appropriate enough to be said outside the bedroom. Before he could structure anything with substance which was clean enough to say with Jace in earshot, Magnus kissed his lips “For good luck.” before passing him. He felt the worry and foreboding flare up and he grabbed his wrist as Magnus passed him. It didn't matter how good Magnus looked, he was still reluctant to let him go. “Be careful.” Magnus looked him deep in the eye and he could feel Jace urgency grow, he could most probably already feel Alec's nerves and extreme want to make Manus stays. “Magnus, let’s go.” He released Magnus wrist reluctantly. Magnus gave him an understanding gaze and a warm smile. “I will.” He squeezed his hand. “Bed, now” he said with a last quirk of the brow as he turned around towards the door after one last stare.  
Alec stood longer in the hallway after the doors closed than he would be willing to admit. The Institute seemed too empty and quiet and strange without the duo. He had grown so accustomed to having them both around that he didn’t know what he was supposed to do on his own. He set his goal to the bed. He had promised Magnus a day’s rest. He’d just lie down, read a book, maybe even take a nap and when he woke up Magnus and Jace would be back. They’d be fine and he had nothing to worry about.

 

He was worrying though; frantically so as he paced his room an hour later. After staring at the same page for twenty minutes, distracted by listening for sounds of the duo returning he gave up on reading and lay down with a frustrated sigh. If he couldn’t read he could at least get some needed sleep. But as he closed his eyes he never seemed to find the right spot or position to lay comfortable in. He rolled over to Magnus’ side of the bed and little by little reached for his pillow until it was tucked safely into his arms clutched to his chest. He let himself snuggle into the familiar sent breathing in it and awaited sleep. But not even that worked. He found his eyelids impossible to keep down and stared into the wall instead holding tightly onto Magnus’ pillow as no better idea came to mind. The pillow wasn’t enough when he was so used being able to cuddle up to the real deal. He sat up after another ten minutes of desperately trying to relax with a sigh. Why was it so difficult? He heard the same usual voice in the back of his head; the one he had so long trained to ignore. If he just thought about it, he’d know why he couldn’t stay still. He stood up and before he knew it he was pacing. Jace and Magnus had been gone for two hours. It was ridiculous how often he stared at and glanced to the clock. They’d be away for a while. When he and Jace were on a big mission they could be away for over 24 hours. Two hours was just one 12th part of that. He paced some more before sitting down on his bed. He didn’t sit for long as the restlessness in his legs walked him out of the room soon after.  
He walked around the institute checking each and every part of it to make sure everything was working properly. After the second round, just to make sure he hadn’t missed anything the first time around, he sat down and went through old files and reports. He checked his phone frequently, even though he knew they were fine; and Magnus wouldn’t text him even if a situation occurred. Magnus was on the mission so Alec would stay in. He knew Magnus would avoid getting him out of the Institute at all costs. He dug further into the files and finished old reports and cases which no one had the time to officially finish even though they were actually done.

  
He stretched his stiff back when his mind was unable to focus on anymore reports. That was enough for one day. He had been working for a few hours and his wound was starting to ache, signalising the time to take a break. He closed the file in front of him and dragged his fingers through his hair. He grabbed his phone from the table checking the time again, wondering when Magnus and Jace would get back; wondering what they were doing; if they were doing okay.  
He slowly walked to his room, the fatigue of an extensive injury and the hard work was catching up to him. He flopped down onto the bed and soon found himself curled up. Once again with Magnus pillow securely pressed to his chest. His lids felt heavy and he let them drop. They shot up and he rushed to grab his phone. Nothing, he had been certain it had vibrated. He lay down again but didn’t get the time to fall asleep as he shot up again looking at his phone. It had been five hours in total. He lay back down. He was still tired but no longer sleepy. He sat up and leaned against the headboard and picked up his book. He didn’t get far before his mind wandered. He tried to focus on the text in front of him but the plot of the book was interrupted by all the things he imagined could have gone wrong on the mission.

  
He refocused on his book again with frustration rising as his mind once again gave him yet another detailed and gory way his boyfriend might have died or was lying dying on the cold ground somewhere and he wouldn't know until it was all too late. He shook his head. Magnus was neither dead nor dying. He and Jace were fine. He let the book drop onto the pillow he had in lap when the fifth picture popped up. If Magnus came back injured he’d never get to leave without him. It had been a bed idea letting him go on the mission. One he wasn’t going to make again.

  
For the next hour he shifted between sitting still on the bed and pacing. He dragged his fingers through his hair for the fifth time the last fifteen minutes with his free hand. The other dragged around the pillow he had been clutching – to his great dismay he just couldn’t let go off it after the images had started to root in his head. He flopped down onto the bed and folded his legs. He sat, pressing the pillow closer to his chest. There was a constant battle between his confidence in Magnus and Jace’s abilities, horrid pictures of how the mission had gone horrible wrong, and a rising anger at Magnus for going on this stupid mission to begin with.  
When Magnus came home, he'd be told just how stupid it had been. He'd never let Magnus leave on any such endeavour ever again. He couldn’t understand how he ever considered it to be a good idea. It was a terrible idea. It was a horrible and idiotic idea. He wished he never agreed. Magnus shouldn’t be out on shadowhunter business, not for him, not for anyone. He was supposed to be home and safe and not endangering himself. He was being stupid and reckless for taking Alec’s place. Alec should have known better. Alec managed to get a few minutes rests before he jerked awake to the image of Magnus impaled with red thick blood dripping down his chin. His beautiful eyes had dulled with one small smile as he looked at him and whispered his name. He almost jolted out of the room and grabbed his gear. If Magnus came back injured he’d, he’d. Magnus wouldn't come back injured. He was too talented for that. He focused on his parabatai bond and there was nothing else he hadn't felt the last hour. He was tired, Jace was slightly on edge but it was easing.

He looked to his phone. Magnus hadn't written anything. Maybe he really was dead, maybe Jace was tired and easing because he was dying. Alec looked to his rune. Still dark and black and full as it always was. He focused on his certainty in Magnus and Jace's skill but the bad dream gnawed at him. He pressed his face into the pillow he had been desperately clutched for so long it felt like a part of his hand. He had been stupid and naïve. He should never have agreed. Magnus were to never do any kind of shadowhunter business ever again. He was too precious to do such stupid and dangerous and stupid things for the Institute. He couldn't phantom how Magnus dealt with it when he was away. He couldn't even comprehend how he let him go in the first place, repeatedly.  
He would never again complain when Magnus tried to make him stay. He'd be out of his mind insane if he didn't. Alec would have gone insane if Magnus did this weekly. It would be the death of him by worrying too much. He worries because Magnus shouldn't have gone. It was the most horrid idea they had ever thought of. He should have stopped him. He should have made sure Magnus didn't leave. He should have-

 

He was out of bed faster then he ever had. The pillow was thrown away to angel knows where in his hurry to get to his feet in desperation to move. The front door closed and he heard shuffling.  
He was so angry he could burst for the danger Magnus had been put in and so relived over his return he could cry. He tried to walk towards the door in a calm matter but his legs betrayed his trying-to-not-look-like-a-mess and sprinted.  
It felt like he could finally breath as Magnus came into view. He speeded up even more. Jace was fine. He had something around his arm but there was no worry or pain coming of him. He wrapped his arms around his boyfriend and decided then and there that he wasn’t ever letting go. Alec distanced them ever so slightly keeping his hands firmly planted on Magnus’ shoulders as he felt him sway. “You're never doing that again! You hear me!” He wrapped his arms around Magnus once more and buried his face in the nape of his neck and breathed him in as he felt Magnus’s hand reach up on his back in a weak grip.

  
He could sense how tired he was but if he for a second thought Alec was letting go he was out of his mind.

 

 


End file.
